Why do I do the work that I do?


8 February 2017

I have been irresistibly drawn into the birth world since a young age.

Now, before you go because you think birth has little to do with you – wait!

Think again. Birth matters, and it matters to all of us. First of all, being born is how you got here, and secondly, as a woman (and most people reading this probably will be), you carry the power and natural forces of birth IN YOU. It has nothing to do with babies, and everything to do with the feminine – FIRST (in my world).

Second it has everything to do with the babies being born and how birth effects our society, our humanity and our life on this planet. My connection to this work came from and still comes from those two places – the deep wisdom and feminine keys of spiritual growth that lie in this natural force which is within all of us, and the extraordinary sensitivity and meaningfulness that birth IS and how actually birth impacts on our capacity to love as human beings.

Being a highly sensitive, very odd and one could say weird young person, I did not fit in into ANY of the structures or concepts that were provided for me growing up or in education, and I knew that I would need to pave my own way. I could feel whisperings that later I would name „the soul“, feel energies that later I would learn as „shamanic qualities“ and perceive things, life and everything just at a little different and perhaps deeper way than most people I knew around me.

That led to a prolonged interest to what lies beneath what we see every day, a continuous exploration of my own heart and soul and a dedicated commitment to being who I am as much as possible, because everything else did not seem to work anyway!

It still took its own time and its own process, which has not ended until today!

To me the gateway of the BODY is an extraordinarily vital one. Massage, awakened sexuality and intense dancing brought my soul into very real contact with what was meaningful and true for me when I was in my late teens. The understanding that the body is PIVOTAL and that my consciousness resides WITHIN the body was very clear, early on. I was gifted with many amazing chances to play within this world of body, embodiment and learning about myself in that way.

That did not mean it was all easy though.

I feel that as young women, and what I still observe today, we are usually not taught self respect, real self care or loving behaviour towards ourselves. The world just isn’t set up that way and there is A LOT of boundaries that are crossed, especially when we are young, that can take lots of healing. It is my wish that we can bring more tools, more self love and more feminine honouring to women as soon as possible. Abuse, pornography, sexual violation and self destructive behaviours are simply too common.

And let me get back to that topic of birth.

When I finally came to be deeply immersed in birth – after my own years of adventure and creative discovery that took me down roads like performing arts, circus and a tailoring apprenticeship, I already had a fair amount of training and experience in many areas. I had trained as a Massage Therapist, with a Diploma in Remedial Massage. I was a certified Cranio Sacral therapist.  I had trained with Dr. Michel Odent as a Doula and spent a year or two travelling and visiting midwives around the world.

There was more, but lets keep it simple.

What surprised me and what I learnt, is that midwifery today in our modern world is mostly simply not able to hold all that is needed for a real self directed, respectful, loving and kind birth experience, that the woman feels really good about afterwards.

Unfortunately there was a lot of disconnect from the female body, surprisingly very much even with fellow students or practitioners. I did not see the kind of honouring and sensitivity that I would wish for my birth, and the setting often did not feel safe. And this was in a high quality training establishment with fantastic training pathways. One of the best in the world probably.

I did not find there what I deeply knew was necessary for true connection to our selves, our bodies, our souls and the processes necessary to allow for that. What I saw in many of the women I accompanied is that we need to start much earlier than birth.

If we wish to reclaim our feminine, powerful truth then there are so many steps to this, and expecting that to happen after years of existing within a framework that does not honour women or the feminine in a myriad of ways, is simply crazy.

Oh so many women feel so bad about themselves for not having „achieved“ the birth they had envisioned, and I feel that it is totally normal and understandable why having a good birth experience has become so difficult today. The issues to be addressed begin far before even being pregnant and I was interested in looking deeply into this.

To me our souls are paramount. Our souls know what life is and our souls are on an important spiritual journey. Each human life is precious and nature is our home.

By destroying our connection to our souls, negating the soul, ignoring our bodies and forgetting that nature is the only way we can even be here, I feel we are in deep disconnect from the feminine within life. Birth, sexuality, pain, soul, women, nature, the feminine, creativity, sensitivity, fierce love, body and babies all have something in common and I am interested in this red thread.

I have made it my purpose to work with those elements that I feel really matter in our world today, to make a difference for women, for babies and the souls that are landing on the earth now. That birth really is the key to changing our societies is something that has quite some scientific backing now. Our whole way of functioning is created in those moments. The fundamentals of our immune system, our neurology, our nervous system – and all the hormonal systems that affect our way of connecting with other human beings and the world.

Women hold keys to the mysteries of birth and we have been experiencing too much disrespect and abuse for far too long. So this is why I work with the WHOLE SPECTRUM of the feminine. The Feminine has Her own spiritual pathways, her own ways of teaching, it is 50 % of life and much of what we could call „the feminine“ has been abused, hurt and destroyed in our world. We can discuss this, as some people do try to do, and – if you feel triggered I urge you to explore more deeply – why?

We need to use a certain vocabulary to communicate certain things and this is how I am able to talk about these issues, which are very real issues with very real consequences.

It is why I have chosen to walk with women, to share with women everything I have learnt, been shown, awoken to in myself and in life, to gather all my experience of years of working in this field with so many women, in so many contexts and places.

It is with the utmost respect for every woman’s journey and every story that I hold a space which is for the soul, for women and for the essence of what birth is and means to us today, as humans. An essential element of this is deeply spiritual.

Much of this happens through body awareness, and education about our womanhood, another important aspect is comprehensive spiritual training and teaching. As a young woman I found it hard to find access to the deep mysteries that I could perceive were calling me. Today I am able to provide those access ways to others.

Spaces that allow for developing our gifts that lie in the realms of the feminine are urgently needed today as our world is coming into chaos and we are living in an increasingly contaminated and disturbed world.

This feminine journey has so many arms, just like the Goddess Kali (if you happen to know her) – and a deep spiritual anchor is something that can be a powerful navigation for our lives as we enter into an incredibly transformative and challenging time of our human history and the evolution of our planet.

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A precious life